Catching Up

A lot has been happening lately. I was going to move, but decided against it at literally the last minute, and I am glad that I decided to stay put. I've had to move a lot in the last few years due to hurricanes and other disasters and I realized I have put down some roots where I am and that I need to stay in the network I have built. That feels like the right decision for me for now, and even though I lost a little money on a deposit at the other apartment (I had even moved some of my stuff out and into the new place), I still feel good about it.

One benefit of almost moving is that I ruthlessly pared down some of my possessions in order to fit into what would have been a smaller living space at the new community. I cleaned out my closet and had a yard sale and took stuff to resale shops, all of which netted me about a hundred bucks, and I also donated about fifteen bags of random stuff to charity. Something about this near-move seems to have thrown a kind of switch in me that made me want to streamline my life. I think the horrible economy is working on me, too. I have always enjoyed buying new clothes, but I am not only content to just work with what I have for now, I suddenly want even less. I got an immediate reward from editing my clothes: I kept what I actually really, really like rather than having a lot of things just for fun, and I feel more personally connected to my wardrobe now. I still have a lot of clothes, I'll never be a Zen master with two robes and a pair of sandals, but now every single item in my closet has been seriously thought about. I have a small pile for repairs and alterations, too, that I have been meaning to do, and will budget for those expenses rather than buying anything new.

This attitude carried over into my just-completed NYC trip as well. I still have storage there, and I plowed through it over two days and donated more than two vanloads full of stuff to the Salvation Army and dumped some old furniture. I stored most of my Staten Island apartment contents when I moved to New Orleans in 2005, and it's all stayed there ever since because I had to move on to Los Angeles after Katrina. The plan was to haul it to NOLA from NYC over several trips with a cargo van I had bought for the purpose, but after evacuation, temporary residence in Dallas and ending up all the way across the country instead of just halfway, I had to just leave it in storage for a long time. I finally decided that I don't need all of it, and made a trip about a year ago that pared down some, and did the same this time. I've reduced the monthly rental expense by more than one-third and the volume by at least that, and I plan to go back for several days in April when it warms up and finish the winnowing process. Then I'll be equipped over the summer to bring back what I want to Los Angeles, and, sadly, probably store it here for a while, too, but at least it will be in the same region/state/town as me. I am tired of being so scattered, and I want to move on with my life after so much disruption. Gas prices have gone back down, but when they topped $4.00 here a while back, I realized it made no financial sense to move furniture all the way out here. It would be cheaper to replace it than to ship it so far. Just like with the clothes I mentioned above, I went through boxes of stuff with the sole criteria, what does this mean to me? I only kept things that I have a genuine attachment to. If it was just pretty or something I don't really use but thought I should keep just in case of a future need, it got donated. I come from a long line of hoarders, and I want to grow past that. I thought I might be in that Staten Island apartment for far longer than I was and I accumulated a mountain of possessions. Realistically, I won't be moving into another space that large any time soon. I had a rent-stabilized one bedroom there in an old building with lots of room, and I can't afford that in Los Angeles at the moment. I also have other priorities now: I want a much better laptop, I want to travel more, I want to beef up my savings and retirement and I want to finance my art projects. Knocking out that storage expense and the cost of maintaining so much stuff will get me to those goals more quickly, so it's worth the sacrifice to me. I needed a stable and attractive home when I created that situation, and I enjoyed it for more than three years. I still have a nice living space and plenty of pretty clothes, I just don't feel I need as much as I did then. It served its purpose and I can move on now and share my discards with someone else who can give them new life.

Regarding my artistic goals, I received my receipt in the mail today from the grant application I submitted in October. They have processed my package, and I am in the running. The winner will be announced in March. I also worked some on book edits while I was travelling to/from New York. I really enjoy reading my Parsifal book, even when I am laboriously combing though it to polish it. If I win the grant, I plan to use the money to self-publish at least two books, and to found a small press to keep them in print.