It's July Already?

I want to apologize to anyone who’s been following this blog and wonders what might have been going on with me lately. I haven’t posted here or to my music-related one in two months, the longest I’ve ever gone silent since I started both of them in 2008. I’ve kind of gone off the map in general the last few weeks for a variety of reasons. I’ve mostly just been exhausted, and it’s been building for several months. I derailed a little last fall when I almost had to move, and then when the economy sank so badly around Christmastime, I lost a lot of momentum that’s proven hard to get back. I’ve had some personal things to work through lately, too, mostly related to some care situations with elderly relatives. I’ve worked those out for the most part, which is rewarding, but it took a lot out of me to do so. My freelance writing work has dried up considerably and I honestly haven't seen much point in pursuing it in this downturn, so I’ve been concentrating on other daytime employment, and that’s been especially busy and draining recently. What energy I’ve had left I’ve been using for book edits, which are creeping along ever so slowly, but at least there is some forward motion. Pretty much everything else has come to a full stop. I haven’t answered any friend requests on Facebook or follow notices on Twitter, it took me several weeks to finish a challenging library book (which isn’t like me at all), I'm backed up on chores, and I haven’t balanced my checkbook in over a month, a dangerously long time for me because I tend to get a little careless with spending money if I don’t pay close attention to it. I’m not math-oriented, it doesn’t come naturally to me, so I have to apply discipline to my personal finances, and the fact that I’ve been unable to do so is a sure sign of burnout. I’ve earned a timeout, and I’ve been taking it. I had a huge pile of mending stacked up, and I used the last few weekends just to pile it up on the couch and work on it while I watched one DVD after another. I also read some books for the kind of pure enjoyment having nothing consciously to do with my research, something I haven’t indulged myself in for a very long time. I do enjoy all of my reading, but there’s a difference between theology and entertainment – I read The DaVinci Code, and then Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson, and I’m just starting another book by him, The Diamond Age. I also went on a thrift store spending spree lately, starting around Memorial Day, which I think is finally trickling to a halt. God knows I never need any more clothes, I’ve thrifted for years and have plenty to wear, but I find clothing, especially of the vintage variety, very creatively stimulating, and I apparently needed an influx of new material, pardon my pun. This one got kick-started by visits to Vegas and Chicago, and by my discovery of a particular Goodwill in Los Angeles that has blown my mind. I can’t believe what kinds of things I have found there. It’s both good and bad that I discovered this store, because I’ve gotten some of the most incredible items I’ve ever owned in my life for pennies there, but they also seem to pretty much always have remarkable things that suit me, which is kind of dangerous considering that it’s not that far from my house and easy for me to frequent on a regular basis. I suppose, like my checkbook, this is another opportunity to practice self-discipline. Seriously, I’ve gotten an ankle-length skirt from the disco era that’s amazing, a black satin skirt like something from a film noir (both of those were $4.99 each), a gorgeous fake fur coat in perfect condition for $9.99, a black velvet clutch purse from around 1980 for $5.00, one of the most flattering vintage dresses I’ve ever had in my life for $7.99, etc. - the list goes on like that for a while. I’ve completely updated my wardrobe for about $100 spent wisely there, and another $100 or so scattered across Chicago and the Vegas Strip. I found a fantastic pair of $10 sunglasses and a $4 retro California t-shirt that helped things out, too. I think I just needed a reboot and defrag, which the shopping and passive film viewing at home provided. I need to put in some time organizing my new clothing purchases into my available closet space (I got rid of some old stuff to make room for them) and to catch up on some filing and of course the checkbook audit. I have barely touched my new laptop, that’s how bad it’s been. I just needed to have a little fun. I realized that even though I haven’t been doing all that much in terms of outside activities, if I’m this tired and fried, I need to do even less, so I’ve been ratcheting down my calendar accordingly and I plan to keep carving out some time for self-refreshment over the rest of the summer. My friend is supposed to have the finished painting for my bookcover to me this week. Waiting for that has been another stumbling block, but once I have it in my hand, I think that will motivate me considerably, too.